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Maybe if I did itI would no longer dream about it and it would all go away. Thethought disgusted me and exited me at the same time. Just go tosome guy's house and fuck him dressed as a girl. Could I pull itoff? I thought so. I looked passable enough when I really went tothe bother with make up.I had looked in the papers for months but had never plucked upthe courage to ring anyone. I often thought it was just a fantasyand I would never go through with it. It made my sex life withLinda better though. She would sometimes let me wear her pantiesin bed with her. She got used to the idea. Never liked it mindbut she loved me and did anything to make her happy. I alwayswore the prettiest ones. Little lace numbers with a flower on thefront. I would be trashing into her wondering and imagining whatit would be like being on the receiving end. Some guy tearing mypanties off and fucking me stupid. It always made for better sexwhen I wore her lingerie. She knew it too.After way to many drinks on. Both jobs required a strong back and a weak mind. On better days, the pod was allowed yard time. Usually an hour in the fresh air and sunshine. That is unless it was raining. Then we got a poncho made from a garbage bag. But any time outside was fine. It gave you a break from the noise of the jailhouse. Which was constant, loud, and vulgar.I was sitting in the common room of the pod watching an incomprehensible tv show. It seemed to be about various groups of people arguing about the parentage of an infant child. Apparently, it involved screaming and yelling, calling other people names and insulting them, even to the point of physical fighting. I was bewildered and slightly sickened. I thought to myself, “What will these children think when they see this later in life. When they can understand it?”From out of the blue, my name was called on the overhead to report to the guard station. Without explanation, I was cuffed up and escorted from the room. I had established a good rep with.
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